What’s the secret to effective leadership? For years, we’ve been tempted by lists – books, posts, and webinars promising that if you just follow these “Top 10 Rules”, you’ll become a brilliant leader overnight. But if these rules were enough, wouldn’t we all be great leaders already?Here’s the reality: the challenge of leadership lies in navigating the muddled, unpredictable realm of human behaviour – the “squishy bit between our ears”, as Chris puts it. During her appearance on Battling with Business, Lisa explored why leadership remains so elusive and what matters most for teams to genuinely thrive.

The Myth of ‘One Size Fits All’ Leadership

A common trap, and possibly the greatest leadership pitfall, is assuming that everyone is motivated, acts, and thinks in the same way we do. “We all have a set of emotional needs,” Lisa explains, “like control, connection, recognition, status, and purpose. How those needs show up varies hugely from person to person.”

That means simply treating others as you want to be treated, or following formulaic advice, won’t cut it. Leaders must become deeply curious – setting aside assumptions, noticing the little things, and making time to understand individual motivators, fears, and drivers within their team. For those who find empathy or curiosity awkward, it doesn’t have to be an intimidating, formal process. As Lisa suggests, “Forget your role as a leader for a moment. Just be a human being who’s interested in others.”

The Humbling Power of Feedback and Stories

Understanding yourself is just as essential. Many of us hold beliefs about our skills and weaknesses which are, quite often, inaccurate. Real insight emerges when we have the courage to seek feedback. Whether it’s a quick chat about what colleagues appreciate or more structured exercises, the simple act of listening to others’ perspectives can open doors. As Lisa notes, “You can see people almost growing in front of their peers when they realise there’s a heap of things about them they didn’t know.”

But giving and receiving feedback, especially positive praise, can be distinctly uncomfortable – particularly in cultures that shy away from “boasting” or where leadership is wrongly seen as infallible. The first step? Normalise it. Acknowledge it might feel awkward, but practice and repetition, especially in psychologically safe environments, make it easier and more authentic.

Scaling Culture: Trust and Psychological Safety

What happens when teams get bigger, or pressure mounts? It’s tempting for leaders to retreat to telling, dictating, or shutting down dialogue “because we’re too busy now.” Yet, when things go wrong, it’s precisely the wrong time to abandon psychological safety. Lisa’s advice: “Leaders have a responsibility to protect their team. It means pushing back on unreasonable demands and being honest about what feels possible.”

Trust isn’t built in grand gestures but in everyday, consistent behaviours – small acts of kindness, vulnerability, and integrity. Psychological safety flourishes when we’re clear about the specific behaviours we expect, when mistakes and questions are welcomed as opportunities to learn, and when colleagues know their leader will support them through uncertainty.

Your Leadership Challenge

• What assumptions are you making about your team?
• Do you take time to ask, “How are you – really?” and listen, without judgement?
• Are you willing to share your challenges and invite feedback, even when it feels uncomfortable?
• When pressure is on, do you double down on safety and collaboration, or slip back into command and control?

Leadership isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about creating the environment where your team can discover the way forward together.

Curious to go deeper? Reach out to Lisa or take a listen to Beyond the Water Cooler for more insights on real leadership and building high-performing, human teams.

Find out more about the Battling with Business podcast here, and connect with hosts Gareth Tennant and Chris Kitchener.